Black Friday Hangover
by batman100
Summary: Wonder what happens after the X-Men undergo the chaos of Black Friday? Wonder no more.
1. Chapter 1

**Black Friday Hangover**

**I do not own X-Men: Evolution characters recovering from the effects of Black Friday. Just a crazy idea that popped in my head. Hopefully, this'll make readers have a big, goofy smile on their face. Enjoy! R&R please!**

"Ugh…so much for Black Friday last night. Geez Kurt, did you **really** have to gulp down all that Mountain Dew last night? You had to use the bathroom like 14 frickin times, for God's sakes!" Scott ranted, rubbing his bloodshot eyes as Kurt was glued to the TV couch

"To be rhetorical, I only had about 3 drinks. Well, maybe 4, no wait, it was oh, I think it was…" Kurt wondered

"Great. Kurt feasts on soda and Doritos all night on Black Friday, aka the craziest shopping spree in history, makes a total of nine bathroom stops, also maxes out both mine and Jean's credit cards, **now** he tells me he can't remember how much sodas he guzzled! Boy, oh boy." Scott moaned as an even more tired Jean entered

"Ughhh… I finally finished 'emptying' my stomach…." Jean started before….

"WHO THREW UP IN MY PERSONAL BATHROOM!? JEAAANNNN!" Logan roared

"…in Logan's personal bathroom." Jean finished, looking a bit green

"Oh dear. Logan is definitely **not** gonna be happy when he sees you." Rogue snorted

"Hey c'mon! I didn't do it on purpose! It was an emergency! What else did you want me to do, barf on Kurt's rug?!" Jean snapped

"It's going to be one of those days…" Scott grumbled, watching Jean rant

"Tell me about it." Peter commented, watching the hockey game

"Bowl of Doritos?" Scott asked, handing Peter a large bowl of Doritos

"You read my mind." Peter grinned, taking the bowl and placing several handfuls in a separate bowl for Scott. "Hey Kurt, want some?" Scott asked

"No thanks. I'm on a complete chips diet until next week." Kurt replied, holding his stomach as he turned green

"RRRUUUMMBLE!"

"What the heck was that?" Remy asked, rushing in with Lance, Kitty and Tabitha in tow

"Oh dear." Jean gasped, holding her hand over her mouth, looking green

"Please don't tell me what I think is happening." Lance moaned

"Ulp….too late." Jean gasped before regurgitating all over the TV room-and on Scott, Kitty, Kurt, Peter…and a very angry and unamused Logan

"Oh my god! That's disgusting! And on my fur! Blecch!" Kurt wretched

"What the heck, Red?! What the hell did you have for dinner tonight?!" Logan growled

"Um…some crab wontons, a plate of fries, some beef tacos, a large glass of A&W, a couple of chili cheese burritos, and some fried chicken." Jean said, listing her large menu

"Well, at least the mess didn't get on my portable TV." Peter replied in relief

"Well what now Jean? Jean?" Scott asked, only to see Jean snoozing peacefully on the couch, lightly snoring

"Yep, that's the cure for the common sick stomach: A good dose of Vitamin Zzzz" Bobby joked

"Very funny." Jean mumbled in her sleep

"Uh, why not leave her here on the couch? It's stain-resistant." Scott ordered

"Fine with me. Here's this so Jean doesn't get cold." Remy noted, gently laying his trench coat over Jean as a blanket

"That was quite generous of you, Remy." Peter noted, impressed by Remy's act of kindness.

"My pleasure." Remy commented, before stroking Jean's red hair as she slumbered.

"Hey, the poker game's on." Kurt piped up

"Leave it on mute while Jean here's taking her Black Friday hangover." Scott joked


	2. Chapter 2

**Black Friday Shopping Gone Wild**

**I do not own any X-Men: Evolution characters going crazy on late-night shopping sprees. This is a prequel to Black Friday Hangover, as requested to the follows. Enjoy!**

"Scott? Remind me again **why** did we agree to do this?" Jean asked nervously as she was standing in a line of over four hundred agitated, insane customers at Kmart on the infamous shopping day known as Black Friday.

"Because Jean, we…uh, we needed to get some money, food, money, drinks, gifts and…money." Scott answered, with a crazed look in his eyes

"Heh. He said money three times." Lance chuckled, while munching on a bag of Doritos

"Well, for **once** it's good that Alvers **finally** abandoned that crazy Misfit experience and decided to be an X-Man like us." Jean said enthusiastically, while browsing her cell phone for jewelry price updates

"Price check on prune juice, Bob! Price check on prune juice!" Remy blubbered insanely, holding a near-empty bottle of vodka and holding Rogue in a lockhold

"Memo to self: Pack more prescription pills for Gambit to control his insane personality." Rogue muttered in annoyance as Remy scruffled her hair

"Well, this line isn't speeding up by any chances…in heck, I meant." Rogue replied, noticing Kurt's strong take on religion

"So what do you suggest, Scott? 20 Questions? Cards? Apples to Apples? Operation?" Remy asked excitedly

"How about being quiet! I can barely hear what the hell Jay Leno's saying!" Rogue snapped, watching the show on her ITouch

"Remember what I said about the "h" word." Kurt moaned

"Ah forget it elf. Rogue here doesn't usually take stuff like that seriously enough." Logan snorted

"What?! I'll have you know, **mister** that I took boarding school for six weeks! Six weeks, for goodness sakes! And just so you know, that your **children** may know, that God is the Alpha and the Omega! And, we absolutely, positively **do not** say the "H" word in **any** religious base, is that clear!?" Jean hissed at Logan who was looking pale after that rant

"Ok ok sheesh." Logan muttered

"Gee, you know; That sounded a **lot** like Christian Bale's rant, know what I mean?" Bobby commented

"I thought I told you not to watch that! You know it's a bad influence on you!" Scott reminded

"Ok ok geez. Chill out man." Bobby commented before noticing Jean was missing "Hold on."

"What now?" Logan growled

"Jean's missing. Along with Rogue, Kitty and Remy." Bobby whimpered as he saw four familiar figures racing toward the soda aisle

"Oh great. Just when I thought things couldn't get any more stupid." Logan hissed

"So what's the plan?" Scott asked nervously

"Ok then smart guy: **You**, Colossus, Kurt and Mr. Ice Cube wannabe go get 'em. And make it fast!" Logan barked, aiming one adamantium claw at Scott, Peter, Kurt and Bobby

"When do we start?" Bobby asked incredulously

"MOVE IT! **NOW**!" Logan screamed as the guys hurried off

"Geez, what a grouch. Has there been **any** moments where he smiles or is cheerful, for God's sakes? Sheesh, that guy is just as grouchy like a piranha." Bobby muttered, unfazed by Logan's gruff personality

"Hey; let's just focus on what we're doing: We can talk about personality developments later." Peter added

"Good call, Colossus. Oh, here they are." Scott piped up, as the four entered the diner

Jean was stretched out on the jukebox, guzzling a large liter bottle of Fanta. Remy and Rogue were dancing using the coat hanger pole as a tightpole. Kitty, however was gorging down burgers and fries savagely like a starved vulture

"Somethin' tells me this ain't the food scene from Seinfeld." Bobby remarked, shocked at the X-Girls and Remy's wild behavior

"Tell me about it: Last time I took Half Pint here, she wolfed down three burgers, maxed out my raise money on the jukebox, and to make matters worse, she was so caffeine-hyper she nearly set the kitchen on fire! With a freakin cigarette lighter, for cryin out loud!" Logan barked

"What happened after **that** fiasco?" Scott asked

"Let's just say Half Pint and I are banned from all fast food diners in this area of New York and leave it at that, capische?" Logan barked. Scott nodded in reply

"Hey guys! How's about the party feeling?" Jean slurred, before making a huge belch

"That's it! No more caffeine after **this** shopping frenzy!" Logan gasped, holding his nose

"Oh, that's disgusting! I-I can't breathe!" Kurt wheezed, turning green

"Peter, don't just stand there, do something! CPR, for God's sakes!" Scott ordered, fumbling with putting on the gas mask

"Uh…ok." Peter answered, not quite sure how the CPR process works, but all he did was heave Kurt's stomach, and a large chicken bone flew out and conveniently bonked Jean, the blast reverting her to sanity.

"That oughta do it." Peter said, amused by how "his" CPR motive worked

"Peter! You…saved me!" Kurt wheezed, grateful at this turn of events

"Oh my god! How much soda did I have, anyway?!" Jean screamed, looking at how much her caffeine cells have increased "Memo to self: take a much-needed soda diet, stick to tea, flavored water and regular water until chances of sobriety from soda use is authorized." Jean said to herself, making a new priority

"Well, at least one good thing came outta this mess." Bobby piped up

"Yeah?" Logan asked unenthusiastically

"Jean gave up the soda drinking binge." Bobby replied amusingly

"…For now, you mean." Peter asked, with a nervous tone

"Oh come on, what do you mean by…Oh **no**." Scott moaned, realizing what Peter meant

"Ugh…Jean just **cant** help herself, can she?" Kurt groaned, rolling his eyes as he watched Jean guzzle down a large champagne glass of Sprite, much so ignoring Scott and Peter's demands

"You said it, elf." Logan snorted

"Well, I suppose this is what I call a Black Friday shopping spree gone wild." Hank commented, ironically amused by the situation

"Save the philosophical crap for later. Let's get the bags and move it." Logan ordered, carrying an unconscious Jean, going through the first stage of sobriety being of course: Rest.

Two minutes later…

"Jean hasn't said anything yet?" Scott asked as he was driving through the highway in his X-Car with the X-Gang in tow

"Not a word." Logan answered, watching Jean as she lightly snored on her bunk, her sobriety far from completed

"Well, be that as it may, we got a **lot** more shopping to do: But first, hows about getting some dinner?" Scott asked

"Dinner? At one in the morning? That's crazy!" Logan snapped

"Do I **look** crazy?" Scott commented, with a deranged smile

"Never mind, forget it." Logan muttered, wanting to change the subject

"In that case, let's switch on the radio." Remy piped up, turning on the football radio station

"Lemme guess…Giants vs Cowboys right?" Warren asked rhetorically

"You guessed correctly." Scott replied with a thumbs-up.

"It's been a while since I've seen a Giants game. I even played quarterback for a few seasons…before my wing mutation, of course." Warren added, reminiscing on the glory days of football

"You were a quarterback for the New York Giants?! That's incredible!" Kurt replied excitedly

"Yep. Jersey number 76. I even got a photo op with Marshall Faulk himself." Warren continued, with a big smile mentioning that memory

"Wow…that mustve been quite a sports career." Scott commented, amazed by Warren's football experience

"Yep. I've been thinking about setting up a football field right by the mansion park next week." Warren added

"Sounds good to me! This football stuff could whip the New Mutants into shape!" Logan added, enthusiastic

"All good ideas to me: But first things first: Eat." Scott ordered, as they entered Burger King

"I tell ya one thing: This is one Black Friday shopping event we'll **never** forget." Kurt said as he walked in with Scott

"Believe me buddy, it was glorious." Scott smiled, as he entered the doors with Kurt, his arm over Kurt's shoulder


End file.
